Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
FUCK WHALES
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
