He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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