i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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