what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
