Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
