dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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