He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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