so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
