what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize