He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
