It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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