If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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