put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
