If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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