Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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