it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize