Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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