I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
