I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
