I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
