Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
