i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
