Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
