They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
