but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
