you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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