...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
