I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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