ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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