I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
