I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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