smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
