I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
