just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
