is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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