Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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