she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
