$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
