I think my fart just growled at me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
