wanna go halves on a baby?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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