If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
