There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
