my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
