Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
