woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
