It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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