You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
