if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
