Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
