I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
